We've had the Ice Hockey UK Journalists awards, and also the Official EIHL ones too. But who's gonna win the most prestigious ones around, the FSB alternative end of season awards. Time to put on that tuxedo, fasten the bow tie and announce the winners. Ladies, it's time for you to dig out that smart dress you only wear once a year in your case. Who's going to be the winners for 2015? Time to find out then....
The Bawbag of the season (as inspired by our good friend Caps Banter Army): Only one winner here, step forward Mr Joseph Grimaldi formerly of Edinburgh Capitals. Not only did you jab a fellow hockey player in the nuts, you dropped the mitts before launching your helmet in his face then setting about him. Shocking behaviour, ultimate bawbaggery.
The Most Biased award for services to hockey egos: Just for his "commentary" skills alone, the winner is none other than GM the GM. The man sounds like a manic depressive in his commentaries and never seems to give the Panthers opponents any due credit. With an ego this big, it's amazing how it can fit through the doors of the NIC.
Comedy gold tantrum of the year: Skate forward Brian Stewart of Coventry Blaze. Although you're a bloody good goalie, you certainly know how to chuck your teddies out of your pram when things don't go to plan. Your little rant after Steelers first goal in the POF was wonderful, perhaps if you had not bothered chasing after your stick then you might have saved that effort.
Biggest whine of the season: It's an award for the other ego in Nottingham here, Mr Corey Neilson. Not only does he see his Panthers side lose to every single Gardiner Conference side at least once this season, he blames the Conference system for it. Buck stops with you Corey, you are the coach. Deal with it.
The Paul Gascoigne I'm gonna burst out into tears at any moment Memorial Award: Has to go to our favourite meerkat himself, Robert Farmer. Interviewed by GM by GM after the semi-final second leg in the Challenge Cup, poor Rob was inconsolable. He somehow held it together but you could tell how upset he was. We wonder if mummy gave him a few hugs when he got home.
Beard of the season: Skating forward to receive this award is none other Steelers very own Mathieu Roy, what a beard. I bet even David Beckham never had a beard so perfect as this one. Special mention though to Matt Nickerson of Fife who gets an acknowledgement for growing the most stupid one around, it made him look an absolute dingleberry.
Best Import of the season (forward, defence or goalie): Runaway winner here everybody, and it's a second award for Mathieu Roy. What Norway missed out on, Sheffield and the EIHL won hands down with it. An 101 point dèbut season for the man from Amos, Quebec. And guess what, he's here for two more seasons. Defences best be ready, this man is capable of even better.
Best British players (defence and forward): Some tough decision making here, and we are going to go with the following. In defence, we've selected Ben O'Connor of Sheffield - an offensive defenceman who is as good as any import in the same position. Although we like the look of Zach Sullivan of Braehead, this kid has a big future and will improve year on year if coached correctly. For the forward, we're choosing Ben Davies of Braehead. Few thought he would make such a great impact in Braehead after all those years in Cardiff, but he did. Robert Farmer is the runner-up for being an absolute irritant but being good at it.
Unsung hero of the season: Bit of a surprise this one to most, but it wasn't to Steelers coach Gerad Adams as he chose this man as his player of the season. Step forward Phil Hill. The Cardiff native goes mostly under the radar when looking at Steelers championship winning squad, but puts himself about every shift he does. Great on the PK, one can wonder what else he wants to achieve now he's got the full set of Challenge Cup (achieved in 2006 with Cardiff) and the Play-Offs and League title in the last two seasons.
Lookalike of the season: Couldn't split this one, it is shared between two of Corey Neilson's Brits. To rapturous applause we award it to Aleksandr Orlov and Daniel Bryan. Yes a meerkat and a WWE "wrestler" no less. Actually to give them their real identities, Robert Farmer and Jonathan Boxill. Take a closer inspection and you will see why. In the words of Bryan Danielson's alter ego: "Yes, yes, yes!"
Self destruction event of the season: It has to be Cardiff Devils for their final 10 minutes of action at the House of Steel on 11 March 2015. From having no penalties called on them in the first 50 minutes of what was an absolute hammering it has to be said, Devils pressed the self destruction button firmly and lost their collective marbles. Three players ejected, of which DOPS took no action, and 100 minutes clocked in that mad spell. Crazy....
Coach of the season: We know that Andrew Lord did alright as a rookie player/coach but he ain't getting our award. Neither is Finner as he presided over a collapse that would be featured on "British Greatest Sporting Tragedies" if they ever made such a programme. No, it's only right to give to the coach of the Elite League Champions. Why would you give to someone who didn't get the big prize. It goes to G, that's all that needs saying.
The Quack Quack Oops Flop of the season: When he left the Most Versatile Arena for the Sky Dome, everyone expected Jeremiè Tendler to take his goalscoring talents there. However, bar a few games Mr Tendler has been doing a great impression of the invisible man. Many times he has been on the periphery, and a total of just 18 goals in 59 games (including play-offs) is testament to what a bad season the Viceroy native had in front of goal. There were signs in the POF that he was back to his best but one can only wonder will Chuck Weber give him another chance. Personally, I think leaving Hull was the biggest mistake Jeremiè made.
and finally, the Team Of The Season: Some good contenders here in every position so that's why we have picked a first all-star team and a second all-star team. Do you agree, what's your team(s) if you don't? Here goes:
First All Star Team:
Brian Stewart (Coventry Blaze)
Ben O'Connor (Sheffield Steelers) Josh Batch (Cardiff Devils)
Leigh Salters (Braehead Clan) Joey Martin (Cardiff Devils) Mathieu Roy (Sheffield Steelers)
Second All Star Team:
Kyle Jones (Braehead Clan)
Cullen Eddy (Sheffield Steelers) Tyson Marsh (Cardiff Devils)
Chris Lawrence (Nottingham Panthers) Mike Forney (Sheffield Steelers) Stefan Meyer (Braehead Clan)
And that is that! Hope you enjoyed the 2014-15 season, we'll be back again ahead of the Champions Hockey League. See you later hockey fans...
Mark
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