Tuesday, 19 December 2017

Hockey Soapbox - Season 3 Week 13 - Playing Santa



Welcome to the festive edition of the Hockey Soapbox this week.

It's a soapbox with a difference this week. As Christmas is around the corner, people are buying presents for those close to them so we set the panel a little challenge this week in the final soapbox of 2017. Each of the panel was given four names, and they had to come up with a present for each of their allocated name. It's all a bit of fun of course, nothing is taken seriously. So playing Santa this week are Steel Talk Co-Owner Jay Smith, Sarah, Fay, the ever popular Eric, Junior Member George, Andy Roberts and your Editor In Chief Mark. 

So let's see who got what...


First of all, the non-players:

Tony Smith: A reality check so he knows what is going with his club.
Paul Thompson: A book on North American soccer. May give an insight into North American style plus he may know more about soccer than ice hockey.
Jerry Andersson: The Coaches Corner DVD, rock 'em and sock 'em...
David Simms: A hacksaw, well he does want to scratch his back with one doesn't he?

Now the netminders:

Ervins Mustukovs: A jumper which has a pouch where you can cuddle your cat, Moose likes cats.
Brad Day: A BaByliss For Men super crew cut hair clippers to keep his hair short as he looks so much better! 

The Defencemen:

Mark Matheson: A box of chocolates specifically from Hotel Chocolaté. Specifically also Dark Chocolate, because Mark Matheson is a sensible person who we think would really enjoy his dark chocolate with a glass of rosé. The chocolates are the most expensive and have a special taste to them, for one exceptionally talented defenceman.
Ben O'Connor: A gagging order after his social media outburst.
Davey Phillips: A photo of himself, with a word bubble attached. "Did it REALLY go in!"
Scott Aarssen: A Mr Frosty game because he is cool under pressure and never seems to be fussed.
Miika Franssila: A bottle of Hendo's relish, as a Welcome to Sheffield!
Zack Fitzgerald: The obvious choice would be some teeth however I’ll go for a bottle of Yamazaki Mizunara Whiskey to be drank with his whiskey socks he's been bought.

The Forwards:

Andreas Jämtin: A large portion of IKEA meatballs, well he is Swedish isn't he?
Andreas Valdix: Skultana cufflinks (company who make fine accessories for Swedish royalty) He’s a classy guy.
Liam Kirk: A flight ticket abroad, where? Anywhere he will get noticed by scouts. 
Mathieu Roy: We would buy him a bible! But with a hand written message inside the front cover with this statement!  "It maybe your crown has slipped slightly this year. But you and the rest of the guys are putting the effort in, no blame attached".
Jonathan Phillips: Call Of Duty on the Xbox One - it'll help him on improving his breakaway sniping skills.
Tim Wallace: A one way ticket back home as he hasn't impressed anybody despite his pedigree.
Cole Shudra: A contract with a club that will give him the ice time he deserves, because he’s a wasted talent sat on our bench!
Matt Marquardt: Just like I would buy Mark Matheson, a box of chocolates. This time the box of chocolates being Cadbury. I have a feeling Matt Marquardt prefers his beer. Cadbury + beer = a winner.
Colton Fretter: The book, Fifty shades of grey, the original print. I’m sure Colton will be delighted with this read, because as he reads it he will not crack any other emotion that a rye smile on his face, and he will be delighted with the old fashioned terminology.
Kieran Brown: The book; Diary of a Wimpy Kid because he is still a kid, and he will also receive an Xbox game of his choice. Along with a selection box.
Robert Dowd: Some boxing gloves because he needs the practice.
Levi Nelson: Bubble wrap so he never gets injured. He’s our heartbeat, never leave us ever. 
John Armstrong: A second chance to impress and prove he is not a flat track bully as some think he is.
Jonas Westerling:salary until the end of the season.

Not forgetting those who departed the roster:

Brady Ramsay: An apology that he wasn't treated with the ice time he deserved for some of his efforts.
Joonas Ronnberg: A huge thank you for stepping in when we needed a defenceman after Fitzy's facial injury.
Andre Deveaux: A course in anger management because he kinda lost the plot in Rungsted and Milton Keynes.




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